Sick

You know that saying, “No news is good news.”?  I think that actually is true in a lot of scenarios.  When it comes to adoption and waiting, I think no news is quite simply no news.  So we’re still just waiting.  And living life while doing so.  In the meantime I’m sick.  I’ve got a raging sinus infection and here it is only 10 days before I leave for my conference.  I’m going to wait a few days longer before going to the doctor though on the off chance I can get rid of this without antibiotics.  I doubt that will happen, but we shall see.

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Parenting choices

I’ll never say never when it comes to parenting because what you think you might or might not do might be quite different when you have a real life child in the midst.  And there is plenty of advice around, lots of books to read and specialists weighing in on issues.  But I plan to go with the way my mother parented, good old common sense and lots of advice from mom.  My mother is one of those, you know the kind, the kind your friend had and everyone wanted.  She’s not really the “cool” mom, but she was the best mom.  The kind of woman who was just destined to become a mother.  She got married right out of highschool (like a week) so she was 18 and 19 when she had my brother.  At the time they lived with my Dad’s parents becuase he was going to college.  So my mom not only had her mother-in-law, but her grandmother-in-law giving advice – talk about a nightmare for a new mom.  I’m sure made mistakes, I’m sure there were times she needed advice, but as I’ve watched her with my nieces and nephew and friend’s children, she just knows what to do.  All the time, it seems.  She’s always told me I’m one of those women, the natural mothers and I certainly feel it to some degree when I’m with children, but of course, I’m not a mother yet, so the jury is still out.  But as I’ve purused the internet and books for all things baby, I’ve come across some hot issues in parenting right now and here are my opinions.  Feel free to disagree…on your own blog.  😉

Breastfeeding – I think you’d be hard pressed to find women these days who are against this, it just seems that we’ve finally come to acknowledge that it’s the best thing for children.  In the adoption community, there are many women who have induced lactation and breastfed their adoptive children.  They often need forumla to supplement, but their child is getting the benefits from breastmilk and they are bonding with their new mother.  I haven’t made any firm decisions on whether or not I’ll try to induce lactation.  When we get further into the process, I intend to discuss this with my doctor.  I certainly would love to be able to do this, but I’m leaving this decision for later.

 Spanking – I think my mother-in-law thinks I’m nuts, well, not really nuts, but I think she’s waiting to see how I manage because I am not a believer in spanking.  I don’t think it’s abuse, well, it can be, but my parents spanked (sparingly) and I wasn’t abused, but I also have seen effective discipline without spanking.  So while DH and I don’t intend to spank we do intend to discipline.  Consistency, consistency, consistency.

Co-sleeping – This is so popular now and there are many fine arguments for the family bed.  We will not be having the family bed at our house.   I’m sure some of you are laughing and saying to yourself, “yeah, but just wait until you’re on your 10th night of barely any sleep and the only way to get any is to let the baby snuggle up against you.”  It’s a valid argument, but I just don’t agree with it.  That’s not to say I think the people who do it are bad, we all make our own decisions.  But I watched my sister do it with her son and it took them years to get him out of their bed and now (as a teenager) he doesn’t like to go into rooms on his own.  I think it takes away the one place for you and your spouse.  And I don’t care if you’re too tired for activity, you’re still there together, alone in your own bed.  And a good marital relationship is good for child rearing.  I don’t think anyone gets enough sleep in the family bed, even the child.  And they never learn to self-sooth.  Now I’m not talking about putting the baby in the crib and letting them cry for 3 hours – that won’t be happening either.  But there is a balance and somehow (through many sleepless nights, no doubt) we’ll find it.

Cloth-diapering – We haven’t made a decision about this one either.  I’ve read that cloth-diapering is not as easy with formula-fed kids as it is with breastfed babies just because of the difference in the poop.  But I don’t want to totally base this decision on convenience and ease.  DH is concerned about the ickiness factor that cloth diapers present, but I figure he doesn’t get to weigh in so much on this issue since I’ll be doing most of the diapering.  Sorry, Babe.  But cloth diapers certainly have come a long way over the years, no more safety-pins and noisy diaper covers, now they have really cute velcro diapers in different patterns and fabrics.  I might buy a few to start out to try them, give them a solid few weeks to see how things work out and then make a final decision.  I’d like to think I will do them, but…

I’m sure many will disagree with me and think I don’t know what I’m talking about because I don’t have kids so how the hell would I know?  And that’s okay, you can think whatever you want to think.  I know myself and while I might change my mind about some things I feel confident in the basic type of mother I’ll be.  And hey, I watch Supernanny – she’s got great advice.  🙂  But I’ll be the first to admit defeat if all of this turns out to be lies.

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It’s Monday alright

I am so tired this morning. And I should get some writing done because (a) I need to keep the book moving forward and (b) I can pretend that writing keeps my mind off the fact that we’re waiting to hear about the next contract. I’m like a big stress ball. Seriously. I’m trying not to be. I’m walking everyday, or nearly everyday, to create a release for said stress. And I’m trying to sleep, but I’m not sleeping soundly because I’m having crazy dreams, one after the other, which really just means I’m waking up a lot and remembering the crazy dreams. Some are about writing, others are just plain odd. The interesting thing, this is the first time in over a year that I’ve spent more than like an hour thinking about anything but becoming a mother. Not sure if that’s really a good thing or not. To trade one obsession for another. Perhaps it’s just my personality.

DH was telling me last night that I just worry about everything and he wanted to know if I’d worried about us when we were still dating. Uh…yeah! Like what woman doesn’t fret and overanalyze when they’re dating? Okay presumably there are some, but not many. Women are so driven by emotions that we internalize everything. At least that’s my experience, I suppose it’s dangerous to make such sweeping gernalizations. Maybe I should just take a nap this morning and see if I don’t feel refreshed for this afternoon. Not thinking that will happen though. I just wish my agents would call and put me out of my misery, but I bet I have days if not a full week left of this worry.

I think I fretted a bit over the last contract, although we’d just moved here and I was up to my eyeballs in boxes so I was a wee bit distracted. But I don’t think I was this crazy. I really think it has to do with the fact that so much (namely our adoption plans) rides on this contract. So I have to do well. Or at least I have to get a contract. ACK!

By the way, do you like the new look?  I was thinking the old brown was beginning to feel kind of dismal and sad.  So I’m trying something new.  I think it works – it’s clean and fresh looking.

Deep breaths…maybe I’ll just have an early lunch and try to get some pages done. And maybe in the meantime I’ll shop for cribs on-line, that’s always fun. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

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Our anniversary

Next Monday we will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary.  In so many ways it seems like it has been a lot longer than 2 years.  Granted we’ve been through quite a lot since we got married.  Since we got married, we’ve indured a seizure scare, moving 1000 miles away from our friends and my family, buying our first home, infertility diagnosis, infertility treatments, pregnancy, miscarriage, more infertility treatments, and the death of both of our’s last grandparent.  Needless to say we’ve had a lot of lows, we’ve really been testing that “for worse” part of our vows.  But I wouldn’t trade a moment of it.  Because at the end of the day it has forged our marriage with such strength that we might bend, but we will never break.  At the end of the day, no matter what life throws at us, I’m married to my best friend.  We have a partnership unlike anything I could have imagined.  He’s my greatest supporter, my greatest defender and the love of my life.

So as we see the 2nd year of our marriage fade into our memories and we begin our 3rd, I’m filled with so much love and so much hope for our future.  We’ll have more trials, perhaps we haven’t even faced our greatest challenge yet, but we’ll face anything life throws at us together and we’ll come out a little bruised, but stronger nonetheless.  We hope and pray our 3rd year of marriage brings us into parenthood and that we continue to laugh and hold hands and just love each other like crazy.

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Beginnings

Starting a new thing is always difficult. We’re reluctant to change and are quite happy with the status quo. Yet new things, beginnings, are always around the corner. It’s a new year, we’re about to start a new month, and I’m starting a new book. Now some writers might really love to start new books, but not me. I wish I could skip the first few chapters and just jump in about chapter 5, but it just doesn’t work that way. So I’m stuck, wondering how this should go, trying to get a feel for these new characters, would she say this? would he do that? And it’s soooo slow going. But I’m determined to get this proposal done.

I’m also getting back into my daily exercise and even though that was a habit a few months ago, my mind and body have long forgotten that. So making myself do the work is a struggle every single day.

Well, my temperature this morning didn’t change anything on my chart, so maybe I really did ovulate. Stranger things have happened. But with PCOS, you just never know what to expect.

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I’m back

I’ve been away for several weeks because frankly I didn’t know what to write. I set this up as our adoption blog, but then we haven’t been able to move forward with that so I felt like I had nothing to say. But while we’re on hold from pursuing adoption we certainly have other things going on in our lives.

Busy, busy, busy has been my motto the last few weeks. Mostly with my writing, but also with the house. I’ve taken the first steps to becoming a Flybaby and my kitchen is sparkling and my laundry is staying fairly current. I’ve turned in proposals for my next book as well as a new series proposal idea to my agents and am waiting for feedback. In the meantime I’m working on the next book in hopes that we will go to contract again soon. The time in between contracts can be so nerve-wracking.

I’ve also been doing well keeping on top of my healthy me work. Exercising and eating right and trying new, healthy recipes. It’s all working together and someday I hope I’ll wake up and be a much healthier person.

I think I might have ovulated this cycle, which was rather surprising because it wasn’t looking like it was going to happen and last cycle was such a bust. So maybe those herbs/vitamins I’ve been taking are actually working. I just want my body to work the way it’s supposed to so any indication of regulated hormones is a good sign for me.

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2007

It’s been a few years since I was glad to see a year leave. And I would be ungratful if I said there was nothing good about 2006; I have an amazing husband who adores me, the best family in the world, a blossoming career, two healthy kitties, and my list could go on. But 2006 was also the most difficult year of my life, so I am feeling quite welcoming this morning to the newness of 2007. New years are always filled with such potential and promise, there is a whole year ahead that could bring just about anything. We hope (and pray) that 2007 brings us closer to being parents. Hopefully, soon, we’ll be able to start the adoption paperwork. I’m also hopeful that this year will bring stablization to my hormonal issues – with the help of medication, herbs and exercise. So here’s to a shiny, new, fresh, untarnished, year!

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Travel time

We’re getting ready to go to my in-laws for a week and I’m so not ready yet. I almost have all the laundry done, but I haven’t even started packing and I still have a batch of cookies to decorate. Oh, and the house needs a good scrubbing before we take off. But I’ve been fighting a bug this week so I haven’t been moving at my regular speed. But I did get all my shopping done and I’m almost done wrapping.

No new news on the adoption front, we’re still in waiting mode hoping to get news soon so we can know if we can start procedures now, or if we have to wait until next summer. It’s a frustrating wait, especially knowing that once we’re in the pipeline we have another 18+ month ahead of us, but in the end it will be well worth it. And when you feel led to adopt, then you just know you have a child waiting. In our case, she’s probably not even conceived yet, but we’ll find her someday. We’re also entertaining the idea of adopting a second child from China at some point and going with an older child the second time around.

I think I might actually ovulate this month, although I can’t be certain. I’m hoping the herbs I’m taking will work with the Metformin to really regulate all my hormones. I worry about long term issues from having wonky hormones – like certain types of cancers and whatnot. So to have them working properly just seems like a good aspiration. And, of course, we’re still hopeful we’ll be blessed with biological children as well as adopted, but we’re just leaving that up to the Big Guy.

Only a few more days to finish baking, decorations, and shopping. Merry Christmas to all!

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Jingle, jingle

Let the decorating commence. Our mantle and hearth have been doused with festivity, our tree is up and shining brightly, holly with bright red berries adourn our porch and a wreath greets visitors, our table is sporting adorable reindeer placemats and snowmen and candles can be found scattered about. I’m just about done, but the nativity still needs to go up. I even made a batch of quick spice cookies today so the house is smelling scrumptuous. Needless to say I’m keeping busy. Between all of this and my revisions, life keeps me on my toes.

I also started the YOU on a Diet this week and so far, so good. I’m concerned about some rumored issues with the Chinese government and weight so I’m going to work on that a bit more before we get our application in. We also are waiting to see about some jobs DH has applied to. Because these other jobs are in different states and we would potentially move this coming summer, we don’t want to start our homestudy here only to have to do another one once we move. So while we’re itching to start on the adoption paperwork, we’re stalling for the time being. At least we have the holidays to keep us occupied while we wait.

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Just popping in to say happy turkey day. It’s been busy around here. Right after finishing my last book, my mom came in for a visit and we shopped and cooked and played and just had a great time. I was also able to show her the video from our adoption agency and she agreed that it sounded like the right one to choose. We’re not with family this year and even though we’ll be having lunch with friends, it will be difficult to be so far from home. So hug your loved ones and be sure to take some time to be thankful.

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