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Archive for December, 2006

Travel time

We’re getting ready to go to my in-laws for a week and I’m so not ready yet. I almost have all the laundry done, but I haven’t even started packing and I still have a batch of cookies to decorate. Oh, and the house needs a good scrubbing before we take off. But I’ve been fighting a bug this week so I haven’t been moving at my regular speed. But I did get all my shopping done and I’m almost done wrapping.

No new news on the adoption front, we’re still in waiting mode hoping to get news soon so we can know if we can start procedures now, or if we have to wait until next summer. It’s a frustrating wait, especially knowing that once we’re in the pipeline we have another 18+ month ahead of us, but in the end it will be well worth it. And when you feel led to adopt, then you just know you have a child waiting. In our case, she’s probably not even conceived yet, but we’ll find her someday. We’re also entertaining the idea of adopting a second child from China at some point and going with an older child the second time around.

I think I might actually ovulate this month, although I can’t be certain. I’m hoping the herbs I’m taking will work with the Metformin to really regulate all my hormones. I worry about long term issues from having wonky hormones – like certain types of cancers and whatnot. So to have them working properly just seems like a good aspiration. And, of course, we’re still hopeful we’ll be blessed with biological children as well as adopted, but we’re just leaving that up to the Big Guy.

Only a few more days to finish baking, decorations, and shopping. Merry Christmas to all!

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still mourning

I faced my due date with dread for months, expecting it to be a rather difficult day. And to be truthful, the days leading up to it were much worse than the actual day. But I thought once I passed that date, I would feel better, I’d have some closure. Evidently that’s not the case. It’s not as if I expected not to be sad anymore, not to miss my little girl, but I just thought the sting would be taken out a bit. Time heals all wounds, right? Well, these last few days have been rough. I’m sure the holidays are compounding everything, but I realized something today. For the last few months I’ve been mourning my pregnancy and the dreams we had for our first child. Now, though, I am mourning Cordelia and the things I should be doing right now. Nursing and changing diapers and not getting any sleep. Taking that picture in the little Christmas sleeper and making that into a Christmas card to send out as a birth announcement. Not having any time or energy to decorate or bake or even think about the holidays.

I’m trying to take things in stride though. Focus on the future as much as possible. We should be getting our copy of China’s Lost Girls in the mail tomorrow which we plan to show to both of our parents over the holidays. In the meantime, I’m shopping and baking and crafting and anything else I can do to keep my mind occupied.

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