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Waiting in a hotel…again

We waited around until we got as final of a word as we could before we got in the car. We left TN around 8:30 (EST) last night and drove through the night and got in this morning at around 9:45 (CST). Needless to say we’re pooped. We spent the day at the hospital and met the birthmother J and her sister and their mother. All of whom were amazing women. It was truly a pleasure to spend the day with them and by 2:00 J had signed hospital paperwork which gave us the right to visit the baby in the NICU as well as to take her when she’s discharged. Oh, it’s a girl. And she’s in the NICU only because she swallowed some meconium and they wanted to take some precautions and give her antibiotics and watch her for 48 hours. She’s already had 2 x-rays and her lungs are clear and she’s doing really well. She was 5lb 13oz and 18in long and while we originally thought she was only 35 weeks, the nurse told me this evening she suspected she was closer to 38 weeks. Of course nothing is final until it’s final, but J met with a social worker today as well as her attorney and if all the paperwork goes through, she should sign tomorrow – if that timeline doesn’t work, we’ll have to wait until Monday because her attorney will be out of town this weekend. I really can’t say enough good things about this family, their support of J and the fact that they went above and beyond trying to make this day special for us – calling us the Mom and Dad from the moment we walked into the door. They even waited on the birth certificate until we arrived so that we could select a name. If the signing goes well, I’ll let you all know what it is. In the meantime we’re going to bed and we hope to hold our baby girl again tomorrow and really hope we can bring her back to the hotel with us.

Rollercoaster: Take 2

We got another call from our agency today and there is a mother in labor right now. They wanted to know if we wanted our profile read to her – well, yeah! So now we’re waiting again and since the mom is in labor, then I’m not sure what kind of timeline we’re working on at this point. In the meantime my mom and I are painting the guest bathroom (AKA the kids’ bathroom) and trying to keep busy.

Back home

We had such a nice, relaxing visit in Texas. It was good to get away and forget for a little while and although it feels a bit bigger and more painful now that we’re home, it’s good to be back in our house with our kitties. We haven’t heard anything new from the agency, but I’m guessing it could be a while. I know there are rescue families out there who have been active with them for months and have never heard anything. And we know that our child will find us somehow, we just hope it won’t be much longer. And while we would never select a child based on gender, it would be nice to have a little girl for the pink clothes and blankets I bought. We won’t know until the end of the month (after the billing cycle) if we’ll get any money back on the attorney’s retainer. It would be nice, but we’re certainly not holding our breath. One day at a time and someday, all of this will have just been part of our journey.

Down, but not defeated

And once again we’re a statistic. The birthmother changed her mind right at the last mintue. We were at the attorney’s office, she was filling out paperwork, we’d been there a while, the attorney felt certain she’d sign and then she just backed out. So drove back to the hotel, packed our stuff and we just got in. We received 3 baby gifts while we were gone. Not sure what should do, as far as what the protocol is for this sort of thing. Remarkably, we’re doing fine. Better than I would have thought at least. We were sad at the office, we’re still sad, but when it’s all said and done we’ve been through and survived a lot worse than this. We’ll get back up on that horse again. I called to alert the agency and they were totally shocked as they felt certain the birthmom was committed to her adoption plan. Guess there’s always that slight chance things will go against everyone’s expectations. Tonight we sleep, tomorrow we rest and Friday we’re going to TX to see my family. Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers along the way. Adoption is certainly not for pansies.

Okay, here’s the latest update. We’ve met N and Baby Girl. N is a beautiful and very sweet woman and I’m just heartbroken for her as I can only imagine having to make such a difficult decision. We’re staying in the same hotel tonight about 3 hours from where DH and I have been staying and where our attorney is and we’ll all carovan there tomorrow so that the paperwork can be signed. Of course nothing is official until she signs and she’ll have 7 days after that to revoke. We’re just trusting in God that everything goes through.

Now I know y’all are all wondering and I don’t have a picture yet, but OH MY GOSH! is Baby Girl absolutly beautiful. I mean stop traffic pretty. We both just stared at her. She has a head full of black curly hair and big dark brown eyes with long eyelashes and her brother has dimples when he smiles so we’ll see about that. And the birthmom is beautiful. It’s a lot to take in, there is so much hopefulness and joy in my heart at the prospect of this being our child, but at the same time I feel so very sad for the mother. I can’t imagine having to walk away from a child simply because I didn’t have the means to care for them. Such courage N has.

Hotel blahs

We were in the hotel most of the day except for a few trips to grocery stores and whatnot. DH was on the phone a lot. Back and forth with both attorneys. At least we know that the attorneys are on board, now we’re just waiting for N to speak with the attorney to coordinate the placement. We’re still hoping for Tuesday afternoon/evening, but we won’t know until tomorrow.

Pink dryer lint

After we got “the call” on Friday, I went shopping. Of course! Up until getting this final word, we hadn’t allowed ourselves to buy anything gender specific. Anything specific to A child. I didn’t buy a ton, just some basics, receiving blankets, onesies, pacifiers and socks. I came home and washed everything and when I pulled everything out of the drier, then cleaned the vent, there is was – pink dryer lint. I actually got tears in my eyes, which I realize is totally silly, but here was freshly washed baby clothes that smelled heavenly and everything was pink or lavender and it was just this very tactile reminder that soon we will bring our daughter home.

We’re here now. In the hotel and the waiting has begun. Tomorrow we’ll continue trying to coordinate everything with the attorneys and hope that the Tuesday plan will come to pass. The birthmom, whom I call N, is about 3 hours from us. We decided to stay in a different town for a couple of reasons, the most practical being that this one just had a better selection of hotels and amenities. We got a mini-suite with a kitchenette and enough room to set up our pack-n-play right by my side of the bed. Tomorrow I’ll go grocery shopping (the store is right next door) so that we can have most of our meals here in our room rather than spending all our money at the local restaurants.

I haven’t unpacked baby girl’s stuff yet. While I don’t think it’s a strong possibility, there is a chance that N will change her mind. But she has had baby girl for 6 weeks now so it seems really unlikely. She spent a lot of time selecting the family to parent her child, it’s evident she put a lot of thought and consideration into her decision. But until we’re back here with baby girl, then her stuff will stay packed neatly in her bags.