We haven’t changed our status to active yet and we’re not sure when we will. We didn’t recover as much money as we thought we would and frankly we’re still feeling emotionally wrought from this summer. I’m sure if we got another call, we’d find a way to be ready, but we’re just not quite ready to go full force again. Part of me wishes they would just call, but the odds of that happening are rather slim since the last time we spoke to them we told them we’d let them know when we were 100% ready. I guess I’m just wishing we had more of a sign of what we’re supposed to be doing right now.
In the meantime I read an interesting book recently called, Healing Syndrome O, by Dr. Ronald Fienberg. It’s about PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome and insulin resistance) which is what I have. It was not an easy read as he has quite a different opinion on treatment than most reproductive endocrinologists. It’s still unclear as to how much of it is genetic, but what it seems to be is that while it starts out as a genetic issue, it can become exacerbated by poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle. Both of which I’m extremely guilty of. So reading the book made me take a closer look at myself and my behaviors. If was I 14 now and just now experiencing the initial symptoms (as I did when I was 14) then I think I would have gotten helpful information that might have stopped everything from progressing. But that didn’t happen so with the predisposition that the syndrome causes and a less than stellar healthy lifestyle things snowballed to where I am now. So yeah, it was uncomfortable to read and know that most of this is of my own doing, at the same time it’s the first time I’ve had hope that I won’t always struggle with all of this. So that’s my goal. To get rid of all of this mess, get off the blood pressure meds, get my body back in shape and get my hormones all regulated. That would be sooooo nice!
Robyn, these changes you’re planning in your life sound like huge steps in the right direction. HUGS and best of luck.
Delores
It’s always good to look at things and say, “Okay, how much of this is my fault”. But it is also good to own that much of it is not. We eat mostly how we learned to as children. And being a writer is a near guarantee of a sedentary life. “If I’d known then what I know now…” is the flip side of destiny and the life we’re destined for is most often much better than anything we could have planned. You and Paul are in my thoughts and prayers. And I believe there is a baby in your exciting future.
You wished for a sign. Then you read this book. Hmm. I can only think that changing a lifestyle might put time and energy to good use while you await your Higher Power’s next call to action. Whether or not you become better able to get pregnant, getting healthy is the perfect way to prepare for motherhood–what a gift to give your child, however he/she comes to you. You and Paul are always in my prayers. I support all your endeavors and admire your willingness to strive for your goals.