Life goes on

We haven’t gone back “active” just yet, we’re waiting until DH comes back from his conference before we make a final decision about what we want to do.  In the meantime I’m working on me.  I decided that I might not ever be ready to do full-fledged fertility treatments again, but we might try naturally again sometime in the future.  I’ve never had a doctor tell me I can’t get pregnant on my own, just that our odds weren’t great.  Coincidentally I’ve been having issues, a 3-week long period to be exact, so I went to the RE today to have tests run.  I forgot how wonderful everyone in that office was.  They went through my file and said that based on the fact that the baby we lost was a “normal girl” and my hormone levels at the time were normal then there’s no reason why I can’t carry a healthy baby to term.  It gave me a little hope.  It’s still terrifying, to be sure, as all the tests and sonograms and the threat of another miscarriage is waiting in the wings, but no good thing comes without risk.  None of this changes our adoption plans.  We still feel called to adoption.  And we’ll continue pursuing it, we just might pursue the other stuff next year sometime.  But I have a lot to do to get my body ready for that.  My body is still in rough repair from all the fertility meds and obviously my hormones are way out of whack right now.  They ran a battery of tests on me today, including 3 vials of blood and hopefully we’ll have some answers soon.  We’re still hoping we find our baby soon, this year would be so great, but we’ll wait for the right one no matter how long.