And once again we’re a statistic. The birthmother changed her mind right at the last mintue. We were at the attorney’s office, she was filling out paperwork, we’d been there a while, the attorney felt certain she’d sign and then she just backed out. So drove back to the hotel, packed our stuff and we just got in. We received 3 baby gifts while we were gone. Not sure what should do, as far as what the protocol is for this sort of thing. Remarkably, we’re doing fine. Better than I would have thought at least. We were sad at the office, we’re still sad, but when it’s all said and done we’ve been through and survived a lot worse than this. We’ll get back up on that horse again. I called to alert the agency and they were totally shocked as they felt certain the birthmom was committed to her adoption plan. Guess there’s always that slight chance things will go against everyone’s expectations. Tonight we sleep, tomorrow we rest and Friday we’re going to TX to see my family. Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers along the way. Adoption is certainly not for pansies.
Down, but not defeated
August 1, 2007 by robynsnest
Posted in Adoption | 12 Comments
12 Responses
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Our timeline
8/16/07 Failed Placement
8/14/07 MATCHED again!!!
8/01/07 Failed Placement
7/27/07 MATCHED!!!
7/3/07 Received call about potential situation
6/13/07 Applied to second agency
6/11/07 Completed homestudy
4/22/07 Started homestudy
3/21/07 Applied to adoption agency
10/17/06 Decided to stop TTC and pursue adoption
9/06 IUI w/Femara & Follistim - negative
8/06 IUI w/Clomid - negative
7/06 IUI w/Clomid - negative
5/06 miscarriage at 10 weeks
2/06 IUI w/Clomid - we're pregnant!
1/06 diagnosed with PCOSI Would Gather Children
Some would gather money along the path of life. Some would gather roses and rest from worldly strife, but I would gather children. From among the thorns of sin I would seek a curl and a gorgeous toothless grin. For money cannot enter in the land of endless day. And roses that are gathered soon will wilt along the way. But, oh, laughing children, as I cross the endless sea And gates swing wide in heaven I can take them in with me. ~AnonomousArchives
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Oh wow, babe. I’m so sorry. So close, but I guess this was just not your baby. Hope N does right by the little sweetheart and that your baby shows up soon. Much love and white light shining on you and Paul both.
May I respectfully point out that no woman is a birth mother until after she relinquishes? It is actually considered presumptive and coersive … and offensive to many … to refer to an expectant woman as a birth mother.
I really do not mean to sound picky or snotty here, but simply wanted to inform as I’ve seen very often how language can wound, especially in the adoption world.
I agree with Pam M … all this will make sense when your child comes home to you.
Well, we certainly never did nor would have referred to her as “birthmother” to her face as that would been disrespectful. It is simply the easiest word to use on here so that those not in the adoption world know what you’re talking about. And it hardly seems appropriate to refer to her as an expectant mother when the baby was 7 weeks old.
Robyn and Paul–hugs and more hugs. I’m so sorry.
Delores
Oh, no. Robyn, I’m so sorry.
I hope you meet your baby soon.
Proud to know you. I watched and waited by the phone for every bit of news and was constantly amazed at how Robyn and Paul conducted themselve in this process. There were so many ups and downs. I saw these two young people treat each and everyone connected with this adoption with respect, compassion, and love. I have never been prouder of my daughter and her husband than I am right now. I want to be her when I grow up. And I know that your baby is out there. Love you both. Mom
Robyn, you are so classy and tough. You’re my hero. We love you guys and I know it’s all going to work out. Like your fabulous Mom said, your baby is out there.
Jess
Oh, Robyn, I’m so sorry for you and Paul and your families. We’ll keep waiting with you. Your baby will come.
Have to agree with what everyone has said already. You are one awesome woman, and your baby WILL come. Hugs, Robyn and Paul.
I’m so sad for you and Paul. And for that little baby. You would have been great parents for her. And as hard as it is to wait, before you know it, you’ll be great parents for some other wee one.
My heart goes out to your whole family. I am sure there is something perfect that a person could say at a time like this, but I have no idea what those perfect words would be. What I do know is that you are an extraordinary person and that you and Paul are an amazing couple and that a lot of people love you very much.
As to the protocol on gifts, I cannot imagine that anyone who loved you enough to send a gift would want you to do anything but hang on to it until you need it, and they certainly wouldn’t want you to spend one moment worrying it.
Love to both of you, and give your Mom a hug for me, too.
Oh, Robyn, my heart just broke when I heard the news. I’m so sorry and I wish there was something I could do. I’m praying for you and Paul, but also for Baby N.